Jill

I was brought up in a very happy family and attended an Anglican church, but it was not until the age of 13 that I can say I gave my life to Jesus. I was at a Christian camp for young people, and at the first evening meeting there was a call to go to the front if you wanted to become a Christian. I didn’t go forward – instead I went outside, found a big tree in the moonlight and wept under it for hours. It was such a powerful experience that I returned there every night until the camp ended, just to be alone with Jesus. From then on, I knew I was different.

When we got home, my twin sister Sally and I tried hard to continue in the new life we’d found. But no-one gave us the Bible teaching and training in our new faith that we needed; and although together we started all kinds of groups, they always seemed to end up in the pub. Then I found my first love – Tim – and God shifted firmly to second place in my life. Tim was a high-flyer and totally devoted to me; we were very much in love.

About five years into the relationship I began to pray for my future husband. I had no doubt as I started praying that it would be Tim. In the space of the following year, however, my feelings started to change towards him. He was away working in Bangkok at the time, and I fought this change as much as I could until his return home. I was due to meet him at the airport, but I suddenly felt sure that he was planning to propose to me when we met. For some reason, and now I believe it was God’s doing, I just did not go to the airport to meet him. Although I was still in love with him, deep down I knew that ‘this is not the one.’ Tim had planned to propose, and my failure to meet him was the start of a very painful break up.

During the break-up I went to see Tim in Bangkok, to try to salvage the relationship. While I was there I happened to meet the director of a company which owns and manages spas and health clubs, within luxury hotels in Thailand. I thought nothing of it at the time. A year later, when my relationship with Tim was over, the company offered me work in Thailand and I accepted.

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It was in Thailand, where I got involved with a church called Phuket Christian Centre, that my story of ‘falling in love with Jesus’ really begins. This Thai church with British pastors was very open to the Holy Spirit, and its teaching challenged me to the core; I began to grow as a Christian. When the church grew from a Thai-speaking to a Thai and English-speaking international church, I brought in everyone I knew!

At that point I was offered a huge promotion which involved moving to Bangkok. My automatic reaction was to say yes, but after praying it through with the pastors of my church I realised that I had to put my relationship with God before success in my job; it was in Phuket that I was growing spiritually. I turned the promotion down

It was hard to tell the company my decision – humanly speaking, it made me look stupid. But my faith grew rapidly and powerfully from this point. I moved into my own place and decided to cut back on my unhealthy social life. I spent more time with Christians, and to my surprise, they weren’t boring! The biggest change in my life was that I fell madly and deeply in love with Jesus. As I read the Bible it came alive – I couldn’t get my nose out of it. I also read a book called ‘Practising the Presence of God,’ by Brother Lawrence, a 13th century monk, and became aware of God being with me and around me, all the time. I found God in everything, everywhere; and in my times alone with him, my whole inner being would lift up in worship as I was filled with his Holy Spirit.

At that time I started a job as Director of Spa for a different company. I would oversee the design, development and staff training of spas in five-star resorts all over Asia. The job certainly had its benefits. From the beginning to the end of each project, I had free accommodation in whatever luxury hotel was setting up the spa, usually in a spectacular location. I would spend my evenings alone with God, enjoying his presence after the busyness of the day.

All this time alone with him changed my life. The time that stands out for me was the 14th February 2003, in a hotel on a beautiful beach in Samui. This romantic hotel was fully booked by couples coming to celebrate Valentines Day. Alone in my room, I did my first ‘night watch’ with Jesus – staying awake all night to worship and pray. It was out of this world. Hours went past like minutes as I danced and sang to him and revelled in his presence. He romanced me that night. I have no doubt, that out of everyone in that hotel, I was having the best time. In the next few months, I found myself surrendering everything in my life to Jesus.

Living in God’s presence was teaching me an important lesson; from the start, I’d realised how much he loved me, but now I was realising how much I loved him. When I came home each night from work or a church event, I would literally sense Jesus sitting on my sofa or in a certain part of my hotel room. I would go and sit at His feet, and gaze at his beauty, sometimes for hours. At times I could not bear to tear myself away to go to bed, so I would sleep where I was on the floor. His love was so tender. As the Psalms in the Bible took on a new meaning, I fell in love with scripture: I was able to memorise it like never before. It was as if veils were being stripped from in front of me to reveal more and more of his glory, which is inexhaustible, irresistible and indescribable – leaving me changed, refreshed, refined.

This deep love relationship has given me the strength to do things I would otherwise not have found possible. When the tsunami hit Thailand my church became instrumental in helping and reuniting people. During that time and at many other times as I’ve worked with the church, I have seen God touch people through me, sometimes in dramatic ways.

I don’t know what the future holds as I look for the next steps to take, but I know I am already in the most important and exciting relationship of my life.