Patricia

When this story started, I was living with my boyfriend Donovan and my six year old son William (from a previous relationship). Donovan and I were in an unusual situation – although we were living together, we had decided we didn’t want to share a bed, because as Christians we didn’t want a full relationship until we were married.

One of the pastors at church challenged us about our lifestyle. Did we want to be flatmates, he asked us, or husband and wife? However, we are from South Africa and have no family in the UK, so were financially dependant on one another. How could we afford a wedding, when I was studying full time and Donovan was being paid pittance by a security firm? In any case, was it right for us to marry each other?

I would lie awake at night, horribly confused, looking for answers – to our financial problems, and our lives in general. Sometimes I thought we should just separate. One night, however, I was woken up by the Lord, and a voice saying ‘Read Romans, chapter 12, verse 9 – 19’.

The verses begin with: Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good…

I knew that God was speaking to me through this passage. Somehow, those words addressed all of my doubts and questions.

That Sunday, we decided to go to church and both ask God whether or not to marry. We felt that if we were agreed about it in prayer, we were more likely to hear an answer. As the service went on, we sat side by side silently asking God to speak to us. A woman was preaching and she talked at one point about God’s light – as she did so, a single shaft of sunlight shone into the church, and the only people it lit up in the whole church were Donovan and I.

At the same time, it felt that in my heart God was saying ‘Yes’. I wondered if it was just me – but a second later Donovan squeezed my hand and said ‘Did you feel that?’

By the end of the service we were convinced that God had spoken to us both and that it was right to marry. We found one of the pastors and told him what we were thinking. He said that if God has shown us something, the clearer he made it, the more responsibility we had to act on it. I was determined from then on to plan the wedding and carry it out, whatever I felt, and trust that God would sort the finances out.

Although we were now certain it was right to get married, there was no money for a wedding. Donovan had lost his job at the security firm. His parents had died recently and left him money in their will, but it was caught up indefinitely in a complicated legal process. Just buying food and petrol was a real struggle. We wanted to hold a wedding in South Africa with our families – I have a particularly large family, with four sisters and a brother. But a wedding back home would mean paying for our flights, before we even started to pay for the reception and so on.

Some people suggested that we should just have a quiet, registry office wedding in London with no guests and no celebration. But something in me said, ‘No! My God doesn’t give out one slice of bread – he gives out the whole loaf!’ Without going over the top, I felt that our marriage should be a real celebration.

However, my worries about money were overwhelming. It was frightening not knowing how we were going to get by day to day. At that low point, the Thursday women’s group collected some money for me. I was in such a horrible state of mind that when I opened the envelope and saw that it only contained £30, my reaction was to think, ‘What use is this?’ It was just enough for the next tank of petrol. I told a friend about it on the phone while I was in the car at the petrol station, and she said, ‘Patricia, be grateful for that gift. Thank God for it and pray over it.’ So, there in the petrol station, I asked God to forgive me for my attitude. I found myself feeling appreciation for the gift. That day was a turning point.

I began to organise the wedding. Whenever money worries came up, I would pray, ‘God – you have given us a clear message – I trust you to provide,’ and then I’d read the passage in Romans again. I booked our air tickets, our wedding car, found a minister to marry us, booked a beautiful hotel by a river, and sent out invitations to guests. Whenever I phoned home one of my sisters would ask, ‘How are you going to pay for all this?’ and I’d say ‘God will provide!’

The hotel where the reception was booked had a rule that you must pay a deposit when you confirm the booking. With three months to go before the wedding, Donovan had found a job with a good company. It was much better paid than the old one, but virtually all of his earnings had to go on our airfare. There was nothing else left over to pay for the wedding. I had no deposit to offer the hotel. I phoned to confirm the booking, but they didn’t mention the deposit.

‘Aren’t you meant to ask me for a deposit?’ I said. I didn’t want to do the wrong thing.

‘Oh, don’t worry,’ they said. ‘You’re abroad at the moment – just pay us when you arrive in the country.’

Finally, we got on our plane for South Africa. Donovan said we must be mad. I just knew that everything would be fine. I knew that God had spoken to us.

The day after we arrived, the legal process over Donovan’s inheritance ended, and money landed in his bank account. It was enough to not only pay for the wedding but to put down a deposit on a property too.

* * *

The wedding was the best day of our lives, a real celebration, and God’s presence was tangible.

God’s provision for us did not stop there - we came back to the news that Donovan had been given a promotion and a substantial pay rise.

I’ve learnt a huge lesson in faith. I realise that when I choose to listen to the Holy Spirit, by going back to the Bible and spending time in prayer, God changes my ‘worldly’ perspective of fearfulness and anxiety into an attitude of trust. I also now have a strong conviction of the value God places on marriage, and I know he will help us with ours.