Thanks ebower for this and my heart goes out to you - I wish I had some brilliant advice for you! I've been mildly depressed at times, but not on the scale you are talking about. A few years ago I did a certificate in Christian counselling with London Bible College (now London School of Theology) and although I didn't pursue counselling as a career I did learn a lot about managing my own mental health! I would imagine that a really well-trained Christian counsellor, or even a secular counsellor, could go a long way to helping anyone with depression - have you tried that route? I've also been encouraged by 'inner healing' books by the likes of Mary Pytches and Leanne Payne, and I'm looking to attend some in-depth prayer ministry sessions for women at our church soon. I wonder if you are able to get this kind of support? Hope you find some answers soon. Anyone else got any advice / encouragement?

Thank you for your reply. I have seen a counselor (in the States where I'm from and will be returing to in 2 months after working in the French Alps with teenagers for the month of July). Becuase I have been moving around so much and am so busy, I haven't found professional help here yet. When can I go to the women's prayer ministry that you were talking about? I do attend St. Barnabas. Where can I get those books you are talking about too? I hear Leanna Payne is good. Thank you for your help!

I'm thinking of Oasis at St Barnabas, but there is a very long waiting list so probably not enough time for you. There is a course called Living Waters I've heard is good for in-depth teaching and prayer on emotional/spiritual health generally - haven't done it myself - but again think it's quite a long term commitment, unless there is an equivalent in the States? You'd find it on Google. Maybe you could contact the Association of Christian Counsellors (www.acc-uk.org) to find a local counsellor?
Leanne Payne ('Restoring the Christian Soul through Prayer '? sorry, forgot the title!) and Mary Pytches books are on Amazon - I also found Larry Crabb helpful (e.g. Inside Out) and Selwyn Hughes's Christ Empowered Living.
Hope some of this helps. You can always join us on a Thursday for some prayer at 9.30 - 11.30 termtimes...

I am at Mcminns infact we are gathered to pray. We are part of thursday women and we meet as a prayer triplet if you are free why don't you come along on thursday at 9:30 and join us. Are you part of a home group? Because they can be quite supportive
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We will be praying for you this morning - we know that God answers prayer and that He hears the cry of your heart.

Well, it's Thursday at 9:30 and I'm just now reading this, but it is great to know people are praying for me! I'm in a home group and they prayed for me last night. But it's a group of younger people, and I've been wanting some time to pray with older women (I'm 21). If I were to come next Thursday where would I go? Thank you so much for the book suggestions! I had a breakthrough on Wednesday that I'd like to share. (Sorry if it's a little long but I hope it whoever reads it).

Here is my breakthrough:
I was angry about something that happened with the guy but I didn't know why I was so upset. After sorting through my head I realized I was angry that I let it happen, and what I thought it said about me. Then I unpacked that and realized that my whole life I have been seen as "perfect" (I'm about to be really honest). I've never done anything "wrong" in the eyes of the world or church folk, but I managed to do it without effort or the perfectionism of a goodie two shoes. And I realized that I wanted to claim that as part of my identity for my own merit. I knew that I was redeemed by God, but I also had such an innocent exterior (never tasted alcohol or kissed a boy). Then I figured out why I was so bothered by the boy thing! I realized that if I was going to claim the glory for my "good behavior" and "purity" I was gonna have to claim the sin I had participated in with that boy as well. I either own it all or I own none of it. I knew that I couldn't claim my good works without the sin, so I claimed both and that lead to depression. Then I realized God calls me to let go of both. I realized that grace means God claims ALL. He claims what's ours (the sin) AND what is His (our good works). That is freedom to me. Freedom from the credit for our good works and our bad. I think that is what it means to find our identity in Christ.

It will be a fight to apply it while I struggle with the depression, but God DEFINITELY exposed the lies and replaced them with truth. Praise Him and thank you for your prayers!

Just a quick one, in a hurry, but hugely excited to read this! Thanks for letting us know. Will post details of getting to the women's meeting shortly. x

Hello to ebower and all who wish to come along on Thursdays. Yes, come along to the parish hall, open to all (but this bits for women only, sorry guys). Coffee and chat first from 9.30am onwards, then a time of sharing stories at 10am with worship and some bible stuff afterwards. We won't be there next Thursday as its half term, but back on for meeting the following week 7th June. See you all then!

Just read what you wrote again ebower and wanted to say thanks for your honesty, and that was a real insight which was helpful to me too. See you one Thursday I hope!

Hi ebower -
This is my first post here, although I'm a bit of an avid forum user! I just wanted to say how much your post about breakthrough - it says a lot to me about where I am at the moment too. For me it's much more trying to grasp both what I can do and what God can do. I'm workinf really hard right now in my area of work (working with people who self-harm), and it feels like there's so much to be done, and I just can't do it all. Your post reminded me that God is working in these situations as well as me, and I don't HAVE to do everything.
A very wise friend of mine said something this morning that I really want to try and remember. She said: 'No matter what your list says, God will make sure you have the time to do what He wants you to do for His Kingdom'. This came just after a long phone call that stopped me doing a lot of other things. I was somewhat annoyed, but she helped me realise that, at that moment, the phone call was more important for the Kingdom than cleaning my cooker before my mother in law arrives!
Sorry, went off the point there a bit! What I'd intended to say was that I'd struggled with depression too, and I found Christ Empowered Living by Selwyn Hughes really valuable in helping me see where my depression came from.
Hope that helps! Abbie x

It would be crazy to choose this world over eternity

Just found this site for Christians with mental health issues and the professionals that support them. Looks interesting. I haven't looked into it but was just told about it by a Christian friend.
http://www.feelinglikethis.com

Hi ebower. Haven't managed to get on the site for a 3 days - been out 3 nights in a row and children won't let me get on pc during day time (!!). I was gripped to read the dicussion and will definitely be praying for you. Look at Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the broken hearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit. I have had one real period of depression in my life and. looking back, this is was God did ... he RESCUED me. He plucked me out of it! This is what I will be praying for you ... confident in the belief that he is getting into his superhero cape as we speak :) Lots of love, Becky