It is funny how there are sticking points in our lives. I seem to always come back to the same point. There are times when I feel vulnerable. Sometimes they just creep up on me, like the one I had recently. It started with a friend who had promised to have my son around for a sleepover when they had their loft extended but never got round to it. I heard she had had another new friend of her son’s round before inviting his best friend of five years. I was really upset and felt he had been superseded.

As I was walking to school, harbouring feelings towards this lady, she approached me and reminded me that I was looking after her son that night. She was the last person I wanted to see, let alone childmind her son! I had also organised a trip to the West End to see a musical on a certain date but it transpires that we have a school journey meeting on that night. This means all the friends I had hoped to invite couldn’t make it because they would be attending this meeting. My expectations were in tatters.

You see the thorn in my flesh is friendships, and when the enemy wants to have a dig he just needles me with the fact my friends are never around for me. I put myself out and he robs me! I was walking to my car seething about my friend’s inability to realize her actions had hurt me when it occurred to me that I had already been feeling vulnerable. It had crept up on me and I was reacting to it without realizing. I had an interview the next day so was feeling a little nervous and had projected these feelings into this situation.
So I asked God to give me grace knowing that my friend had not set out to hurt me but had acted according to her own family circumstances. Then I thought about who else I could invite out with me, but not from my son’s class. I realized I did have lots of friends - I'd just limited my options by only considering a small part of my social network.

It was when I was arranging to go and have coffee with another friend that I knew that what had occurred had fed on my insecurity. My friend invited my son for a sleepover without me even mentioning my feelings, because I asked God to give me grace in this situation and He had prompted her. I now have someone else to bless with the West End musical who I may never have considered otherwise.

As long as I recognise my vulnerability and don’t act on it, God will make sure that the outcome will be a blessing to me and all those concerned. Of course I would rather this was not such a thorn in my flesh, but until God heals me of it I just have to be aware of the impact it has on my life and make sure I don’t do anything too impulsive that I regret.

Do you have an area of vulnerability which plagues you?
!. Recognise it.
2. Accept it - don’t fight it.
3. Give it to God.
4. Let him show grace in the situations you face because of it.

I know that one day as I work through this broken part of my life God will bring the healing I so desire. It used to plague me but now I recognise it, deal with it and it goes away a lot more quickly than it used to. I don’t live IN that insecurity I live WITH it when it occurs. Can you?