Christmas is not everybody’s cup of tea. It brings many expectations with it.

I grew up in a large family so we always spent Christmas with loads of people. It was full of carols and traditions which I loved. I always looked forward to Christmas. But when I got married things changed.

My husband’s experience of Christmas was the opposite. His family always came together with unspoken expectations that this time would be different. As they spent time together the cracks in their relationships surfaced with inevitable consequences. Returning home, despondent, they would vow not to repeat the performance the following year, yet the unspoken expectations within would conquer once more.

When we got married we were expected to fend for ourselves - no more jolly family gatherings. We had to make Christmas something special to us. But no matter how I tried to build expectation my husband would struggle each year to feel what I felt. I can’t say I really understood the depths of his feelings until this year, when I came to appreciate a bit more of his heartache. His sister had managed to put the past behind her but he has not yet.

My mum and I used to help cook on Christmas day a meal for those less fortunate than ourselves. I really enjoyed it, giving to others as well as being lucky enough to enjoy our own family time. I have always wanted to have the opportunity again, but to no avail - until this year.

A lady in our church saw the needs of some friends who would not have anywhere to go this Christmas and was moved to do something about it. She decided to put on a special Christmas lunch for anyone who had nowhere to go. What is more remarkable this lady is a vegetarian and only ever cooks for one! – but she is resolute that her vision and faith would be sufficient.

Her notice in the church bulletin leapt off the page and I jumped at the opportunity to get involved. Two problems solved in one go: my desire to serve others at Christmas, and my husband’s need to focus on something other than a close family gathering! We both love to serve and he particularly enjoys organising this kind of event. And the bonus is that we both have a common goal to look forward to.

I cannot think of a better way to celebrate Christmas than with the wider family of Christ. It only takes one person to have the vision for things to happen, like a small ball of snow that gains speed and size as it is rolled down a snowy hill: the momentum is gathering as more people catch this vision.