I’ve just had a lesson from God in praying when I didn’t want to pray, when I had decided it was impossible so there was no point bothering as it was a done deal with no hope and because I didn’t want to bother because it wasn’t important enough. And I had to learn the lesson from God and a child.

I’ve spent many months praying for guidance on decisions in my life: where God wants me and my family to be, and what jobs I should be going into where I can make a difference.

Cynicism, disappointment, apathy, busy, over-busy, consumed by life, running in the rat race, little sleep, disinterested in religion and going through the motions at church, lots on my shoulders but unable to do much, tired, no time for anyone, faith low. This sums up where I’ve been in the last couple of months.

Last week I went to hear Jason Westerfield speak. I didn’t know who he was but I was told he was worth going to see. Apparently he had been in ‘The Finger of God’ movie. I hadn’t seen that either so I wasn’t too excited to go.

I’ve noticed something over the years. I’ve noticed that things knowingly done wrong and not dealt with quickly have a habit of coming to the surface at some point. It’s as if someone pulls them out in to wide public display in the end. I’ve also noticed that these things, when discovered, often grow to leave consequences far deeper and more disruptive than the initial ‘minor’ sin.

Last week I met three different people in three different situations, some strangers, some friends, all not full-on Christian as far as I’m aware. But in each situation I found myself saying, ‘Oh, lets pray about that’. Within a second I had prayed for their situation and God had moved in their lives in powerful ways.

Just after I wrote my last blog (Weighed down and Rotten) about letting go of things we don't need and trusting God to give us what we need, this unusual week followed.

I’ve had an invasion of moths in my flat, hiding away in dark corners and eating away at any clothes they can find.

As we looked at Psalm 56 today it spoke volumes to me. It was written when David was facing fear under capture from the Philistines. Things didn't look great. He stated his situation to God and all the trouble he was in. Then he says, 'When I am afraid I will trust in you'.

That trust has power to console David in the face of unsettling fear and give him what he needs to press on.

It was 9.10am. I was driving back from school drop off, running late and in a hurry to get to the 9.30am start of Thursday Women, which I was leading that morning. I turned into the one way narrow street, heading steeply up a hill, only just wide enough to get single way cars through. At the top of the hill I came up behind a large lorry, and there I stopped and waited patiently.

For the four weeks leading up to Christmas I decided to turn down my invites to the usual parties and give the time to drawing close to God. It wasn't much of a sacrifice, I wasn't feeling in the party mood. I had an emptiness I knew needed filling.